Tees Maar Khan – Are you serious, Farah Khan?

(A Review by Swarnagauri Tonse)

I came out of the theatre with the what-the-hell-was-that expression. I still couldn’t figure the movie out. Tees Maar Khan, for me, was another of the mindless comedies which have become just too frequent in bollywood (though dad tells me it was a hundred times better than golmaal 3). I really feel bad that Farah Khan disappointed me, because TMK neither had the style nor the entertainment which Main Hoon Na and Om Shanti Om promised AND provided. I thoroughly enjoyed her two previous ventures. I felt like crying towards the end of TMK. And not in a good way.
Tees Maar Khan is the story of a con man Tabrez Mirza Khan aka Tees Maar Khan(Akshay Kumar) who repeats the cheesy one liner ‘Tawaif ki lutati izzat ko bachana, aur tees maar khan ko kaid karna – dono bekaar hai’ over and over again. Well, you get the point. He cannot be captured. Etc. So in the film he gets captured in Paris in the beginning, escapes the police in the plane in a cringeworthy overly non-realistic way, strikes a deal with the Johri brothers (Siamese twins who are antique robbers) to rob a train which carries 10,000 kg of antique stuff with the condition that he gets 50% of the moolah, and comes up with an ingenious(NOT) plan to do it. The plan involves faking a film shooting in a village near the railway tracks and fooling the villagers into stealing the stuff for him. He even fools a famous bollywood superstar, Aatish Kapoor(Akshaye Khanna), into working in the fake film by guaranteeing an Oscar for him. In the process of the fake shooting hamare tees maar khan unintentionally does good things, then intentionally does good things, then gets caught, and escapes again.
TMK is a no-brainer sans a story with substance, and is just a couple of cheesy jokes loosely strung together. Therefore it is hardly impressing. And such a film coming from Farah Khan makes it more pathetic. You know a movie is messed up when a heroine who is just meant to be a background showpiece actually does much better than the hero. Akshay Kumar’s performance made me facepalm throughout the movie. It was as if he was beating us with a stick and forcing us to laugh. Akshaye Khanna didn’t have much to do really, but he was good. Katrina Kaif was brilliant. I think this was the first time I actually loved Katrina’s performance in any movie. She saved it, really. And the only high point of the movie was ‘Sheila ki Jawani’ which sadly got over early in the movie(I think it was the first song of the movie, not sure) and Katrina was undoubtedly hot in that. Raghu and Rajeev as the Siamese twins were good too, but then I can’t judge because they hardly did anything. Everybody else gave a fine performance.

Overall it was a mediocre movie. If I were to rate it out of 5, I would give it 2. Watch it only if you are bored. Nay, I say getting bored is better.

P.S. I would like to specially mention the well-shot end credits where the cast and crew are presented with fake oscars. Everybody looked good in that, especially Twinkle Khanna. That was one of the two places where the movie was worth it(the other being sheila ki jawani, of course)

P.P.S. Aatish Kapoor DOES win an oscar in the end. Go figure.